Naruto Christmas special
by Bri Nara
Summary: It's two Christmas specials. One for the Leaf ninja, and one for Akatsuki mainly Kakuzu. Rating is for the 2nd story.
1. Christmas for ninja

**Bri Nara Production**

_It's Christmas time! (Confetti) So here's the Naruto Christmas special!_

_Nezumi: But they don't celebrate Christmas, Bri-san._

_Fine, no presents for you, Mousy-kun. -.-_

_Nezumi: B-But-!_

_Just kidding! ^^_

_Nezumi: Don't scare me like that! O_O_

_(Starts singing the pyro-version of 'Deck the Halls')  
_

It was snowing in the Leaf Village as Tsunade had most of the Konoha Eleven in her meeting room.

"So, what did you call us in here for, Grandma Tsunade?"

Tsunade stepped aside to reveal a little light-brown-haired ten-year-old wearing a Santa hat. He was smiled brightly under his thick scarf.

"It's Christmas Eve!!!" Nezumi jumped out and grabbed Naruto in a death-hug. "It's Christmas Eve, Naruto-san!!!"

Neji looked at Tsunade. "Lady Hokage?"

"You've been given today and tomorrow off."

"What?!" Everyone seemed shocked.

"The Mujaki Clan has paid me nearly a fortune to do this job. You have to celebrate Christmas with Nezumi here."

"WHAT?!"

"Since when were we babysitters?!" Tenten asked.

"What kind of mission is this?!"

"Lady Hokage, I don't mean to be rude, but why do _we _have to do this mission?" Shikamaru asked.

"_Because_, Nezumi _personally _requested that you celebrate with him. And since he _is _the heir to the Mujaki Clan, what he says goes."

Nezumi nodded. "Yeah. Besides, half my clan went to the Stone Village on some business thingy."

**...**

They all decided to have a Christmas Party in the Mujaki Mansion because it was nearly empty anyway. (Nezumi: My Clan gets a mansion?! O_o)

Lee, Tenten, and Shino had to stay with him while the others attempt to remember what was needed for Christmas (They always worked on Christmas). Shikamaru, Ino, Choji, Sakura, Hinata, Neji, and Naruto went out to look for Bri, who was the only one who still remembered a few customs.

"I hope they come back soon," Nezumi said as he looked out the window.

Shino looked at him in the eye. "Relax, they should come back soon."

Nezumi shivered and his behind Tenten. (Shino creeps out Nezumi.) "Tenten-san..."

Lee was suddenly behind Nezumi and shouted out in an incredibly loud voice. "Let us commence this holiday with the power of youth! I suggest we start caroling!"

Tenten's eyebrow twitched in annoyance. "Caroling? Our mission is the keep him happy, not attacked for disturbing the peace."

But, Lee started anyway shouting out 'The Twelve Days of Christmas.' (btw, what was the 6th one? I forgot. O_O)

**...**

"Heh. So you guys have to babysit Mousy-kun?"

"Yes," said Neji. "This is why we need your help."

They were in the middle of the Leaf Village. Bri was sitting on top of a very well decorated Christmas Tree with a candy cane in her mouth.

"You forgot the important stuff, didn't ya?" There was a crunch as a bit of candy cane got munched on. "Naruto, got get some Christmas lights. NOT FROM MY TREE, YOU IDIOT! Sakura, get a tree. Neji, get ornaments, milk, and cookies. Ino and Hinata, go get the books full of Christmas carols. Shika, Choji, you two have the most important jobs. Come with me."

Naruto went to get Christmas lights, but on the way back to Nezumi's house he ended up so tangled that Sakura had to carry along with the tree. By then Lee was caroling 'Jingle bell Rock'. Somehow Neji magically appeared and put mistletoe, glass balls, and holly everywhere. And left the cookies and milk by the fireplace. Ino was already next to Lee caroling.

"N-Naruto..." Hinata said as she fidgeted her fingers.

Nezumi looked up and cheered "Someone's under the mistletoe!"

Hinata blushed as Naruto was the one to give the traditional mistletoe kiss (On the cheek. And she _still _fainted.)

Around midnight there was a shaking in the chimney. Nezumi's eyes widened as he saw a jolly Goodman step out of the chimney with a reindeer and an elf. (He was very tired by then, I made sure to make Choji convincing, and I had the only elf costume on earth that doesn't need tights.)

"Ho ho ho!" 'Santa' laughed out as he dropped a sack of toys for _everyone_. The reindeer (coughShikamarucough) and the elf (coughMecough) helped hand out gifts.

Naruto: A Sakura plushie for comfort.

Sakura: A dress

Neji: Those fate-telling cards (Ironic)

Ino: A picture of Sasuke that says "Missing you"

Hinata: A Naruto plushie (With a note saying: "Don't faint when you look at this Naruto")

Tenten: A brand new knife!

Lee: A Guy-sensei action figure! Complete with thumbs up pose and sparkly smile! (From Guy)

Shino: A t-shirt with Zetsu on it saying "Bugs are friends, not food."

Shikamaru: A new Shougi board. (From Bri)

Bri: Karioke machine!!! (Sorry, I'm very greedy. X3)

Choji: 100 coupons for barbecue (and Santa's milk and cookies)

"What do I get Santa?!" Nezumi asked eagerly.

'Santa' gave him a what Bri picked out for him. A train set. And, intentionally or not, it started snowing outside again.

"Yay! Let's play out in the snow!" (No playing out in the snow scene because... I have no idea how to. ^^")

**(Twelve Days of Christmas, BRI-STYLE!!!)**

**Everyone:**

**On the 12 days of Christmas**

**Konoha gave to me:**

**12 Rasengans spinning**

**11 Awesome ninja**

**10 Clones a-leaping**

**9 Akatsuki members**

**8 Ninja Hounds**

**7-Thousand death-hugs**

**6 Sexy Jutsu**

**5 KO SMAAAACKS**

**4 Jumping Jounin**

**3 Sand guys**

**2 Talking toads**

**And a Chriiistmas special from Briiiii!**

**Nezumi and Bri: Review!!! ^_^**

**Happy Holidays, peoples!!! X3  
**


	2. Akatsuki Christmas Carol

**Bri Nara Production**

_Merry Christmas! ^^ Ok, I know I already put a Christmas special, but the was for the Leaf Village. T.T I wanted to mess with Akatsuki for Christmas._

_And before you ask, no. I haven't seen the newer version of 'A Christmas Carol' yet. -.-_

**This is not the story you all thought you knew.**

**Because it's the story, of a miser, Kakuzu.**

**He's as greedy as Scrooge was, as you can see.**

**Because when Christmas was coming, he didn't buy a tree...**

"Kakuzu-san! Buy us a tree, _please_." Tobi pleaded for the millionth time.

"No. It cost too much money!"

"But Kakuzu-"

"No buts. No tree."

"WAH!!! You're mean!!"

**He went off to his room, thinking everything was fine.**

**But no, he did not steal Scrooge's line. T.T**

**But just from the title, you expected this most.**

**The night of Christmas Eve, he was visited by a ghost.**

Kakuzu was in his room sleeping, dreaming about money. So he didn't noticed the pale red-haired ghost floating next to his bed.

_"Kakuzu..." _The ghost said softly. Kakuzu didn't stir. _"Kaaakuzu." _Still nothing. _"KAKUZU WAKE UP!"_

Kakuzu jumped out of bed to see a young-looking red-haired ghost. The ghost had strings attached to each of his joints.

"Sasori? What are you doing here? You died at the beginning of the series."

**He's here because I want him to be here. -.-**

"Who said that?!"

**Take a wild guess. X3**

"Bri?!"

**Close. I'm Bri's Inner. AKA, the author of this story, so what I say goes. -.-**

"This is stupid. You woke me up at midnight. You can't tell me to follow this story."

**I AM THE PUPPET MASTER AND I SAY DANCE!!!**

Then Kakuzu was forced to do caramelldansen. "Fine! I'll do the stupid story!!"

**Good. ^^ Now that we understand each other. Let the story continue.**

"So what are you doing here, Sasori?" Kakuzu asked the ghost.

_"I was sent here by Bri to tell you that you're going to be visited by 3 ghosts. And that you will relive 1 in the morning 3 times."_

"Damn, that sucks. What for?"

Sasori pulled out a card and read _"'For being a cheap-a__ and not getting the freakin' Christmas tree.'"_

"Bri's Inner sounds like Hidan."

**I heard that. -_-" You have no room to talk, you sound like Hidan when you're grouchy.**

"Fair enough. That's it?"

_"One more thing." _Sasori tried to hit Kakuzu, but failed because of the basic "Ghosts can't touch things" rule. _"That's for selling my puppets on eBay." _Then Sasori disappeared.

"So I have to relive 1am 3 times. No big deal."

**That's what they all say before they see the 'Welcome to Hell' sign. X3**

**The clock struck 1 and Kakuzu froze,**

**For from the floor, another ghost arose.**

**The ghost glided towards him as Kakuzu stared.**

**The ghost had sky blue eyes and long blonde hair.**

"Deidara?!"

Deidara looked up at the ceiling. _"Do I have to do this, un?"_

**Yes, Deidara-sempai. ^^ I couldn't think of a better Ghost of Christmas Past than you.**

_"Did someone sneak rum into your soda again?"_

**Maybe. O.o**

"Let me guess. She dragged you into this too?"

_"Yup, un. I am the Ghost of Christmas Past, un. I'm supposed to show you all the Christmas memories before you became an ancient miser, un."_

"HEY!"

**He's just telling it like it is, Kakuzu-san. -.-**

_"It could be worse, un. She could force us to talk in rhyme, un."_

"DON'T GIVE HER IDEAS!!!"

**No, for next year's special. -.- Now go see 91 years of sucky Christmases. Wait, is that spelled right?! O_o**

Suddenly Deidara and Kakuzu were in the Waterfall Village, looking at a lonely 5-year-old Kakuzu on the street.

**Lonely~! Kaku's so lonely~! He got nobodyyy, of his ooowwnn. XD**

"Shut up!" Kakuzu looked at the younger version of himself pick up his first quarter.

**Kakuzu found money, and found out how it works. -.- And the rest-**

_"-Is history." _Deidara finished.

"Okay. I get it. I like money. Can I leave?"

**NO! NOT UNTIL YOU SEE YOUR SUCKY-A__ LOVE LIFE! -__-"**

"My WHAT?!"

Suddenly, they were at a Christmas party, and a teenage Kakuzu was under a mistletoe by accident. A random girl poured glue into his mask, and pressed it against his face. Kakuzu tried getting the mask off, but cut the corners of his mouth.

_"Wow. Your love life sucks, un."_

**Ok, enough of this. Back to the room! O.O**

Kakuzu fell into his room from the ceiling. "OW! Could I have at least had a pillow to land on?!"

**Shut up, the next ghost is coming.**

**Once again the clock stuck 1.**

**Kakuzu saw eyes that burned like the sun.**

**With raven-black hair and eyes that glowed red.**

**The next ghost, certainly, was a sign of dread.**

"Itachi?! You're in on this too?!"

_"You say that like I want to be in a story controlled by Bri."_

**Itachi, say your lines or I'm putting Barney in there. -.-**

_"I am the Ghost of Christmas Present. I will show you your choices aren't pleasant. Now as you see the faces of your comrades go by, take notice that you made Tobi cry."_

"Oh no! She's making you speak in rhymes!"

_"And now Kakuzu, you can see. Why I didn't want to be in a story controlled by Bri." -.-_

Suddenly Itachi and Kakuzu were in the living room. Tobi was on the couch crying. Leader was with Konan wondering what to do about it.

"Maybe we should get him a tree," Konan said to Pein.

"But we don't have to money to get one. He's just going to have to forget Christmas."

_"Do you see want you did to Tobi?"_

"I gave him disappointment at an early age. Big deal."

**THAT IS IT!!! -__- SCREW THE PRESENT, YOU'RE GOING STRAIGHT TO THE PART WHERE I TORTURE YOU!!!**

"Oh s__."

Itachi was gone and the clock struck one again.

**The clock struck one and the air was cold.**

**There was a ghost in a cloak, as any could have foretold.**

**The room swallowed by shadows as fear hit its mark.**

**The final ghost's weapon, hidden in the dark.**

"I take it you're the ghost of Christmas future." The figure didn't move. "Who's this supposed to be?"

**It's a surprise. X3 Now follow him.**

They were suddenly in a cemetary, in front of a head-stone. It said in fading letters 'Kakuzu, Tobi's first sign of turning into an actual super villain.'

"WTF?!"

**Tobi was pissed off at you for not getting the tree. -.- So he turned evil ahead of time.**

"ALL THIS JUST BECAUSE OF A STUPID-A__ TREE?!"

**Yup. ^^**

"I'm still not getting the tree."

**Fine, LET THE HELL BEGIN!!! XD**

_"Well this should be fun."_

Kakuzu's eyes widened as he recognized the voice. "Oh f___ no."

_"Why the hell are you so surprised? I don't even celebrate this f___ing holiday, so I have plenty of time to kill by doing this f___ing story." _The ghost took off his hood. It was Hidan. _"Any last words before I throw you down there?"_

Kakuzu's grave opened up to a one-way ticket to torture. Kakuzu stared down there, before saying bluntly, "Goodbye stupid fanfic."

Hidan pushed Kakuzu in there. Where Kakuzu suffered 56 hours of KakuHida yaoi.

**Get Tobi the tree. -.-**

"NO!"

**So persistant. Give him the tree and the yaoi will stop.**

"FINE! DEAL!"

Kakuzu was suddenly back in his room at 7am. "HA! YOU FELL FOR IT!"

**F___ YOU! -.- Oh wait, O_o I can just force you to get the tree.**

"WHAT?!"

**Kakuzu went downstairs to go find Tobi.**

**And told him they were getting a tree.**

**And when Tobi hugged him in delight, some people say**

**That Kakuzu's 5 hearts grew 3 sizes that day.**

"Ok, now you're just stealing s___ from the Grinch."

**Shut up. -.- You're still getting the tree.**

"How?! It's Christmas day already!"

**(Snaps fingers) X3**

A tree suddenly fell on top of Kakuzu, fully decorated and 10 feet tall.

"AAH! GET IT OFF!!!"

Tobi started jumping up and down. "Kakuzu-san did get a tree! But where are the presents?"

**Coming right up. (Snaps fingers)**

There were presents falling out of nowhere. Kakuzu was buried in presents by the time this Christmas Carol was over.

**Merry Christmas, everyone! ^^**

**Sorry about this but the idea came to me when I got a massive headache after drinking some funny-tasting Coke at a restaurant.**

**I'm sorry about the Kakuzu-bashing, but he makes the perfect Scrooge.**


End file.
